The Parent Disconnect

I am well aware of the disconnection that now exists between parent and child because of the lack of time spent together. Meaningful conversation just does not happen. Parents expect others to teach their kids everything, including morals and faith. However, in one of the largest research projects ever commissioned to study the root causes of teenagers’ high-risk behaviors, physicians at the Mayo Clinic conclude, “ The most effective way to protect young people from unhealthy or dangerous behaviors is for parents to be involved in their lives.” Knowing this, it has become my responsibility as a Christian educator to encourage and equip parents to have a faith-nurturing presence in their children’s lives. What an uphill battle I am having to wage!

During the past few weeks,it has been a struggle to get parents to be part of a parent/youth mission trip. Our efforts to have a good attendance of parents to hear Jim Williams speak about knowing their tween is reaping minimal response. I asked for parents of this same age group if they were interested in being part of a parent/child human sexuality class. Two responded. Parental support of confirmands is another matter. How can we help strengthen the parent-child relationship? Lord, give me patience, insight and wisdom.

Transfiguration Sunday

Today we observe the Transfiguration of Our Lord, the last Sunday After the Epiphany before the beginning of Lent. (Matt 17:1-8, Mark 9:2-9, Luke 9:28-36). Why? This statement from Daniel Benedict of the General Board of Discipleship gives important insight:

"We celebrate the revelation of Christ's glory "before the passion" so that we may "be strengthened to bear our cross and be changed into his likeness." The focus of the Lenten season is renewed discipline in walking in the way of the cross and rediscovery of the baptismal renunciation of evil and sin and our daily adherence to Christ. At Easter, which reveals the fullness of Christ’s glory (foreshadowed in the Transfiguration), Christians give themselves anew to the gospel at the Easter Vigil where they share the dying and rising of Christ.

In the biblical context, the synoptic gospels narrate the Transfiguration as a bridge between Jesus' public ministry and his passion. From the time of the Transfiguration, Jesus sets his face to go to Jerusalem and the cross."

I think the glory of God is all around us and available to us. However, sometimes we just don't look for it, or maybe we've honestly forgotten how to look, or maybe we expect to see it directly as Peter, James, and John did so long ago. I pray that I will always live in the hope of glory and find previews of it when I need it most and/or least expect it.

Night

Recently, I read the new translation of Night by Elie Wiesel. Although I have heard Wiesel speak of his experiences in the Nazi concentration camps, I had never read this small book. I certainly could have read this book in an evening, but I would have known only the words. Instead, I choose to read it slowly over several days. His use of language and the events described were too rich and powerful not to linger over them. Also, I could only stand to read about the atrocities a little at a time. While part of me wanted to wipe out of my mind what was being said, the rest of me wanted never to forget.

I certainly am experiencing a confluence of events and I am not sure what it means. I recently watched the Bonhoeffer PBS presentation and was overwhelmed how he was welling to give his soul for so many as part of a plot to kill Hitler. Then there are the reoccurring news stories of those who don’t believe the Holocaust ever happened. Also, the current stories of genocide and human abuse from Darfur continue to haunt me. Especially, since they almost go unnoticed by the major news services. With all this in mind, I remember reading what Weisel asked his father in as their horrible fate was being revealed: “Can this be true? This is the twentieth century, not the Middle Ages. Who would allow such crimes to be committed? How could the world remain silent?”

In 1989, Elie Wiesel concludes his acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize by saying, “Our lives no longer belong to us alone, they belong to all those who need us desperately.”

Now in 2006, the stories of human injustices near and far continue. When will Jesus the Christ call us to action? “Whatever you have done for these you’ve truly done for me.” Maybe, he is calling and we are not listening.

Home Again!

As always I enjoyed being with my colleagues at White Oak as we met those seeking to be commissioned as probationary members in our conference. Different committees address the candidates understanding of theology, Bible, proclamation and call to disciplined life. I serve on this last committee. One of the issues that we have had to address in recent years has been obesity. Studies reveal that clergy need to be more vigilant about health care to be effective ministers and that usually begins with controlled weight. Church potluck dinners and member's gifts of food seem to lead to a habit of overeating. Since our schedules vary, it is hard to maintain the discipline of exercise. Our committee is now delaying commissioning or ordination of candidates until they can exhibit some acceptance of this needed discipline in their lives. We are very fortunate to have a physician that serves on our board. He patiently explains to candidates the necessity of making some important changes in eating and exercise habits. Most accept this and begin to make some important lifestyle changes. It is our prayer that these new habits continue.

P.S. Speaking of health, mine has been less than perfect these past few days. After bragging about not falling victim to the various ailments circulating among us, I fell victim to a cold/flu like ailment while at White Oak. My own bed felt wonderful last night. I am recovering and planning to be healthy by Sunday.

Out of Town

Another journey to White Oak to interview candidates for ministry. It is a privilege to be part of this process, but also a heavy responsibility. Persons have spent years and mega bucks to get to this place, yet ordained ministry may not be their call. Others just need a little more direction and guidance to complete this process. And, what a joy when we encounter someone who seems to be truly ready for ordination. Prayer becomes an important part of our gathering as together we seek to make the right decisions. God be with us.

Olympics

I am enjoying watching some of the Winter Olympics, but have been confused. Are they being held in Torino per NBC or Turin per NPR? Finally, I went to the ultimate authority in such matters-Google-and discovered that the Italians call it Torino and the Anglicized version is Turin. I learn something new everyday.

What is the attraction of the Olympics? Maybe, it is just the middle of winter and there is nothing better to watch on TV. The human interest stories told as part of the NBC’s presentation are often interesting. The physical prowess exhibited in many of the events is impressive and exciting. The evidence of fortitude and dedication of the athletes make these games inspiring. However, it is disheartening to know that super egos and drugs are also part of the Olympics. There are lessons of all kinds to be learned from this display of humanity.

Traveling Mercies

Saturday brings its own set of tasks to be done, but it also gives me a chance to write about the last few days. Early Thursday morning I began a four and a half hour trip to Spartanburg for the trustee meeting at Spartanburg Methodist College. The beautiful, sunny day certainly served as a reminder of God's creative goodness. It also reminded me of my responsibility to be a good steward of this. It is almost overwhelming when one thinks of all the issues in this realm. However, each of us is guilty of conspicuious consumption of natural resources. Conservation and recycling matters must be addressed by all. How should we do this in the life of the church?

The Board of Trustees had a good meeting. Construction of a new dorm has begun, pre-enrollment figures for fall look good, the one million dollar challenge grant has been met, and new degree explorations continue. One concern is maintaining a Board of Trustees that will meet the needs of SMC as current trustees rotate off the board. One challenge has been that The Discipline requires that 60% of the trustees of our church related institutions be United Methodists. It is also interesting to note that only 14% of the revenue comes from the United Methodist Church. As I become more fully aware of the role that this school makes in the lives of its students, I am honored to be able to serve as a trustee.

I stayed in Columbia Thursday evening with my grandson, William. It is hard to believe that he is nearly three years old. We enjoyed playing with blocks and reading books. I was most impressed with his mastery of so many nursery rhymes. His world is about to change as a baby brother in due the end of March. His loving nature will certainly make him a good big brother.

On Friday I met with my clergy covenant group in Florence. We focus our gatherings on issues that are the emerging and facing the church of the 21st century. This time we tried to broaden our understanding of Islam, especially the similarities and differences with Christianity. Our discussion revealed that we are woefully ignorant of how Islam is making a large impact on the world in a variety of ways. As always, this is good time spent with my collegues. We share and explore thoughts and concerns about our ministry in an open and honest manner. This is important to our continued understanding of our ministry.

As I traveled to the beach on Friday afternoon (with a large number of other folks) I realized that I was truly headed for home. There certainly was a sense of mercy and grace present as I turned into my driveway. God is good.

Valentine's Day

Instead of a Hallmark greeting, wouldn’t our proclamations of love be more authentic if we were directed by the classic words of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”? That sounds romantic until I think about the reality of doing this and my sense of humor prevails when I remember some of our days past. So, my marriage is probably on safer ground if I don’t go in that direction and just say, “I love you, Ron.”

Camps and Retreat Ministries

On Thursday, I traveled to Columbia to attend a meeting convened by the Board of Camps and Retreat Ministries of the SC Conference to share future plans for our facilities, Sewee Coastal Retreat Center and Asbury Hills Camp and Retreat Center. In recent years, these sites have been upgraded and their programs enhanced. Also, our annual conference has established a board of trust that gives direction to this ministry. The board now feels it is time to move forward with the long held vision of many that these sites be made appropriate for use throughout the year. This first stage comes with a 3 million dollar price tag and thus the real focus of our gathering. I wish that I could write that check, but I can offer support for the cause through personal reflection.

My relationship with and appreciation of Asbury Hills began in 1981 when our older son attended camp for the first time. As he connects the dots in his journey, he knows this was a key event. Not only did he return for camp, but later as a counselor. His love of the hills and streams of the Upstate was firmly established and continuing friendships made. The richness of this experience certainly gave understanding to his growing faith. His younger brother enjoyed camping at Asbury Hills, also. Through confirmation and youth retreats I know what a great place this can be, especially for those who have never known the exhilaration of creek hiking in early spring and climbing rugged terrain. These challenges seem to open young hearts and minds to new possibilities for believing and knowing their God.

It is not only the setting, but also the style of camping that makes Asbury Hills special. While many camps now operate like a school by having a variety of activities from which the camper creates his/her own schedule, Asbury Hill’s philosophy is still that of the small group. Building community, living in relationship with one another, cooperating in daily tasks are much needed skills in our fragmented and isolated society. In this setting, meaningful friendships are made that continue into the year ahead and the young adult leaders still serve as important role models for the campers.

Sewee offers a wonderful retreat setting for families and small groups. It is the hope that this site can be enhanced so that larger groups can use it and that a wetlands boardwalk and observation deck system can be built.

Many very dedicated United Methodists have worked long and hard to create and preserve our camp and retreat ministry. Today, we have a visionary board that is asking us to support this ministry into the future. I am impressed by their commitment to this and the business plan they have developed and will be a voice of support. SC Methodism needs this ministry.

Cartoons and Other Headlines

The cartoon issue in the Muslim world has left me concerned and confused. I have read and heard all sorts of thoughts about this matter and still can't fully comprehend the scope of this situation. However, I think this article from the Christian Science Monitor is helpful.

Through the life and death of Betty Friedan we face an issue that many would still like to ignore, equal rights for woman. I remember reading The Feminine Mystique while in college and thinking that things must change. And, change they did in the subsequent years. Although the struggles have not always been embraced by our society, we now know that women have more rights and privileges than ever before in this country. In most situations, we can now claim and define who we are. For me, I have felt that I have been able to fulfill what my great-grandmother and grandmother started as suffragettes. However, I am sure that they never really thought that their granddaughter would be ordained as a clergyperson.

Bono won a whole bunch of Grammys this week for his music. That's nice. However, I was more interested in his speech at the National Prayer Breakfast. Although his theology could be argued, his heart cannot be disputed. It is certainly refreshing to have a celebrity use his name and fame for a good cause. AIDS and Africa cannot be ignored.

A Good Listener

While rummaging through my desk I found some notes taken at a long forgotten conference. However, these thoughts are timeless. Not only do I wish that I would adhere to them, but also think that they could be helpful to others. So as a reminder to all, I offer the following:

You can be a good listener if you...
-limit your own talking.
-think like the other person.
-ask questions.
-don't interrupt unless it is necessary.
-concentrate on what's being said.
-take notes.
-listen for ideas...not just words.
-add an occasional "Yes, I see."
-turn off your own worries.
-prepare in advance.
-react to ideas...not the person.
-don't jump to conclusions.
-listen for tone of voice, both yours and theirs.


P.S. - In thinking about these notes, it seems that I could apply them to my prayer life, also.

Each New Day

Recently, I read these words from Martin Luther's Small Catechism: "In the morning, as soon as you get out of bed, you are to make the sign of the holy cross and say: 'God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit watch over me. Amen.' " Further directions follow: say the Apostles Creed, pray the Lord's Prayer. ...Then "you are to go to your work joyfully." Through these words and action Luther recognized and affirmed his baptism daily. What if we did this daily? Certainly the weight of yesterday's wrongs and the burdens of tomorrow's worries would turn into a gift of grace and peace for today. Just a thought.

Happy Anniversary

“Love is patient; love is kind…” Thirty-nine years ago Ron and I were married in my home church in Ohio. Surrounded by family and friends we confidently promised to love one another through all our years. Little did we know how those vows could be tested by life’s circumstances. However, we have shared each other’s joys, wept each other’s tears and persevered when we were not of one mind. So we celebrate today assured that we will love each other’s aches, pains, gray hair and idiosyncrasies into our tomorrows. Today, we will also know a reward of this faithfulness…our grandchildren. A quick trip to Columbia will allow us to enjoy a few minutes of grandparenting together.

“And now faith, hope, and love abide; these three; and the greatest of these is love.”
I Corinthians 13:13.

Bonhoeffer

Just noticed that on Monday, February 6 at 10 pm, PBS will air a program about Dietrich Bonhoeffer. The life and writings of this German theologian captivate me. His book, The Cost of Discipleship, has given Christianity important understanding of grace as revealed in his thoughts about cheap and costly grace. His life as a martyr in Germany during World War II is inspirational. Recently, one of our Sunday morning short studies was The Cost of Discipleship. I am so pleased that these folks were willing to undertake what most people find to be an arduous task. Their Christian education has been enhanced by doing so.